U.S. Government blames whales and dolphins for deaths due to sonars

The United States Supreme Court today ruled in favor of the Navy and against environmentalists in a case arguing that national security permits the use of high powered sonar blasts to detect hostile submarines. The ruling comes despite mounting evidence that the Navy's sonar blasts can kill whales and dolphins.In other words the government is saying that whales and dolphins are unintelligent, unfeeling animals who deserve about as much respect as that cockroach I just nuked with Raid.

Chief Justice John Roberts wrote in the majority opinion: "The Navy’s need to conduct realistic training with active sonar to respond to the threat posed by enemy submarines plainly outweighs the interests advanced by the plaintiffs."Those interests? That whales are sentient creatures and don't deserve to have their ears blown out.

Even the Navy has admitted that it is dangerous. Following the beaching of seventeen whales and a dolphin in the Bahamas in March 2000 following a sonar exercise, the Navy accepted blame in a Joint Interim Report which found the dead whales experienced acoustically-induced hemorrhages around the ears.And yet, the Navy was so confident they would win before the Supreme Court that they neglected to file an environmental impact report, which is required by the National Environmental Policy Act.

They also called on George Bush (a man of questionable intelligence himself) to exempt them from the law, even though he has no legal standing to do so.So the next time you take the kid to the aquarium make sure you reprimand him: "No Billy, don't be ridiculous. That dolphin is just a stupid animal."